


Out of My Head

by Lalalissa84



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-31 05:21:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3965926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalalissa84/pseuds/Lalalissa84
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella Swan is going crazy.  Literally.  Is Edward Cullen the cause of or solution to her problem?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first time writing! Be gentle?

# 

 

 

# Chapter 1.

 

 

 

_Check address.... good._

_Fold....... done._

_Stuff........ put to the side._

_Get new one...... check address....... good._

_Fold...... ow! done._

_Stuff, but watch for blood..... put to the side._

I stick the side of my thumb into my mouth.  Dang paper cut.  Just what I needed right at the beginning of another boring day of doing mail.  How am I supposed to fold all of these notices with a slice right across my folding finger?

I grumble as I grab the next sheet of paper.  What a life.  My menial job is going nowhere fast, not that I really expected it to.  You get hired to send the mail, you are going to spend the rest of your life sending the mail.  How am I going to move up in this company when I've been doing nothing but folding their mail for months?  
  _Just get in anywhere you can.  Its the best way._ Gee, thanks Rose.  Great advice there.  

I know she had my best interest at heart.  She really is my best friend.  But she is also incredibly friendly, outgoing, and knows how to get things done.  I, on the other hand, am incredibly shy, awkward, clumsy, and socially inept.  Being around people isn't really my thing.  Which is why I am in a small back office by myself for most of the day.  What was I thinking? Bella Swan can't move up from here.

_Check address... good._

_Fold carefully...... done._

_Stuff..... put to side._

When I leave the building it's starting to rain.  My long brown hair is damp immediately, frizzing out in every direction.  I pull my hood up and move to the edge of the sidewalk so I'm walking under the small overhang.  There are people rushing by in both directions so I slink along the wall to stay out of their way.  I hate working in the city but it was the only place I could find a job.  These business people have somewhere important to be, the shoppers are moving from one store to the next, and tourists who have braved the outdoors today are stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk to pull out umbrellas and hats.  Get out of the way!! Argh.  I can't stand it.  

I hop on the bus heading out of downtown and pop my earbuds in.  Flipping open my book, I settle in for the commute home.

 

My phone vibrates as I'm walking into the small house where I live with my dad, Charlie.  

It's a text from Rose.

            Going out tonight.  U are coming too.  

Oh no.  Not tonight.

She tries to drag me out at least once a week.  I spend the long hours at work figuring out how to tell her I'm not going, so I'll have an answer the next time she asks.  I'm ready with a reply.  

             Sorry my friend. Hot date tonight - B

Yeah, she should believe that.

            You're kidding! Why didn't you tell me?? Who??? Jake? - R

Oh, ugh! No!

            Because I'm kidding.  Not going anywhere tonight.  And Jake? No. A thousand times No! - B

Good try Rose.  She'll tell me I'm going out again in a day or two.  And I'll tell her no.  Its a game for us.  I know she wants me to get out, make some friends, go to the bar... all that good stuff that 22 year olds are supposed to do.  But how do you tell someone as perfect as her that thinking about having to maybe talk to someone you don't know makes you nearly sick with worry.  I really don't know why she has kept me around so long.  We've been best friends since we were little and she likes to imagine that I am just the same as her.  And occasionally she'll talk me into going out and doing something normal for someone my age.  And I, of course, will say or do something really dumb, like trip over a chair and land face first in my dinner at the restaurant.  True story.  So mostly, she'll let me stay home.

            You sure? Hate thinking of you sitting at home alone. - R

She really is a good friend.

            All good.  Charlie is off tonight.  Having dinner together. Have fun! - B

            U too! Don't forget, Mr. Pretty is filming in the city this week.  Watch out for him for me! - R

Mr. Pretty?  Oh Rose, your one strange quirk.  She likes to keep tabs on the movies and TV shows shooting around town and makes me watch them all with her so we can spot the local landmarks.  Gotta love her strangeness sometimes.  Maybe its why we're still friends.

I drop my things on the hall table and can hear the TV on in the living room.  Game night.  Won't have to talk to Charlie too much then.  

"Hey Bells, how was your day?" he asks as I come into view around the corner.

"You know Dad, same old.  Paper cut today."  I hold up my bandaged thumb and he laughs a little.  Then his moustache twitches and I know what's coming next.

"You really could do so much more than that.  You are such a bright girl."  

"I know Dad."

" I could still get you that reception job down at the station."  He always looks a little excited at the thought of me coming to work with him.

"I know Dad.  And thanks, but you know I'm no good with people."  And he'll leave it at that, because he's kinda the same way.  Likes to be by himself most of the time.  Probably why we get along so well; no hovering on either of our parts.  So I turn and head for the kitchen thinking that maybe I'll make meatballs for our spaghetti tonight.

 

I'm in the middle of preparing large mailing packages the next day when my phone buzzes again.  Rose, of course.

            Jake was there! Too funny.  U really should have come!  - R

            Really tired of telling you I'm not gonna date Jake.  Why don't you? - B

            Ewwwwwww no! Bella, that's not right. - R

            Then stop trying to make me date him!! - B

            Ok, point taken.  I'm downtown today.  Will meet you for the ride home. - R

 Jake is a friend of Rose's boyfriend's, one of his tag alongs .  There are three of them, and they always seem to travel in a pack.  Jake is the cutest of them I guess, but I'm really not interested.  He likes to stare and I find that creepy.  Not the basis of a good relationship.  We have had a few very brief conversations, mostly on his part.  I try to look like I'm listening to his adventures in car maintenance, but really I'm just thinking about whether or not the library will have the book I want when I go in the next day.  God, I'm so lame.  22 year old virgin who has only been kissed once.  Its like I have a flashing light over my head - Inexperienced Lame Ass!!  Yup, me in a nutshell.

Maybe I should date him though.  Could be my only chance at anything in that department.

I shudder.  Nope.  Oh well, I'm sure becoming a Nun would be a perfectly respectable career move.  

By the time the clock has hit the beautiful hour in which I get to leave my hell hole, I'm thoroughly mad at myself again.  Stupid job.  Stupid life.  Stupid me.

At least Rose is waiting outside to cheer me up.  Beautiful, blonde, perfect in every way Rosalie Hale.  Hell, maybe I should date her.

"Stop looking at me that way Swan.  We'll find you someone." She smiles at me and links her arm through mine.  

"I hope," she mutters under her breath and we turn down the street.  

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

# Chapter 2.

 

 

"So, I told him he could kiss my ass, and definitely not in the literal sense."

 "I told you, he'll never learn."

 "I know, I know," Rose mumbles.  She's been on and off with Paul for years now.  They met senior year in high school and it was love at first sight - for Paul.  It took a while for him to convince Rose to go on that first date.  And since then it has been months of lovey-dovey googly eyes, followed by several weeks of angry, boy-hating sleepovers, before the googly eyes come back.  Its really hard to keep up with them sometimes.  I've asked her a thousand times why she stayed with him for so long, all the way through college.  I don't think she really knows though.  She doesn't take crap from anyone, aside from me I guess.  But she puts up with Paul for some reason too.  And she really is the most beautiful person I have ever known.  She could find a replacement for Paul in seconds.  They would form a line.

We are heading down the sidewalk, grey skies promising to start pouring at any moment.  I should go visit mom soon; I could use some sun.  Well, as much sun as my pasty white skin will allow.  Tanning is not one of my strong points but I like to soak up a little vitamin D before slathering on the SFP 60.  I can at least get enough color so I don't look like a ghost.  Rose says my skin is flawless and translucent, but really I think I must be part albino.  

"So, anything new going on?" Rose asks.  Hah.  

"If there was anything new going on, you'd know about it," I reply.  Really, she would.  Probably because it would be her idea.  "How'd the interview go?"

"Oh, I so nailed it! I'm definitely in, just waiting for my start date," she says with a grin.  I love Rose's confidence.  If only I had that.

It's only a few blocks from my office to the bus stop, and we're nearly there when I look from Rose to a pair of guys walking around the corner.  One is tall and slim, with a ball cap on and a hood pulled up over it.  The guy beside him is massive, built like a football player.  I don't know why I've noticed them when I try to avoid everyone, but something about them seems familiar.  Rose keeps walking and talking although I have slowed a little.  

The huge guy sees Rose and nudges the leaner one with his elbow.  He looks up, glances at her, then me, and looks away again.  Oh! I think I recognize him.  Mr. Pretty, as Rose calls him.   

He looks up at me again and I think I'm staring.  But I don't look away.  Yup, Edward Cullen, actor extrordinnaire.  I freeze - deer caught in the headlights.

**Oh God. Please don't recognize me.**

What? I glance around but don't see anyone near enough to hear so clearly.  I start walking again and am beside Rose in a second.  I don't think she's noticed, but we're almost right beside them now.  I can't say anything within hearing distance.  

I sneak another glance from the corner of my eye, and am momentarily frozen in his green gaze.  And I wince, because a sharp pinch squeezes my temple.  Strangely, I notice that his face is slightly wincing too.  Oh.  Must have gotten a good look at me.

I really don't want a migraine tonight.  That sharp pain in my head means I'm going to be out for days.  Dang!  The pain has receded, leaving a gentle throb in its place.  Hopefully I can get home before the worst of it hits.  Maybe I have a painkiller left in my bag.  I'll have to check when we get on the bus.

"Rose, was that him?" I ask, although I don't think she saw.

"What? Who?" I turn to point, but the crowds leaving their offices for the day seem to have swallowed the two guys who were there.

"Oh, they're gone! Probably wasn't anyway, but I thought I saw your Mr. Pretty."

"Bella, I doubt he's walking the streets at this time of day.  He hates being photographed and everyone knows he's in town filming for a few weeks.  Probably hiding out if he's not working."  She is a wealth of knowledge on the celebrity gossip front.  

"Yeah, you're right.  Must have been daydreaming," I tell her, although I'm fairly certain it was.  We make it to the bus stop and I'm horrified to see Paul, Jared, and Jake standing there.  No! Not now!  I'm trying to fight off a headache, I don't want to have to fight off unwelcome advances too.

"Rose!" I hiss. "How could you do this to me?"

"Oh don't worry about it Bella.  They came downtown today and I think Jake's car was having some sort of trouble so they took the bus.  I'm sure Jake will tell you all about it," she snickers.  

"I thought you were pissed at Paul?" I whisper as we approach the guys.

"Oh I am.  Always fun to torture him a little," she giggles.  Oh joy.  This really is the last thing I need this afternoon.

"Rose, Bella! Over here!" Paul yells.  Yeah thanks Paul, didn't see the three of you standing there.

"Hey Bella!" Jake says, a little too cheerful for my liking.

"Hi Jake." I try to smile as politely as possible.

"We have to take the bus today.  My car crapped out again yesterday.  Think it must be something wrong with the transmission.  It's been shifting really weird the last few days."  

Oh kill me now.


	3. Chapter 3

# Chapter 3.

 

My bed feels especially lumpy tonight.  I turn again and pull the quilt over my shoulder.  I can't get comfortable.  My headache hasn't materialized the way it normally does, but it's feeling a little strange still.  Almost like my temple is really warm and tingly.  I took a couple of extra-strength Tylenol so maybe that killed it before the pain could start.  Lets hope.

Sleep doesn't seem to be happening either which is making me angry.  I'm tired, grumpy, and dreading having to get up and go to work again.  Sighing, I switch on my light and grab the book from my bedside table.  Reading should put me out pretty quickly.  Usually does anyway. 

An hour later I'm still awake when I'm startled by some music, which makes me look up from my book.  My clock-radio reads 11:11 and I hit the snooze button, although I know the music isn't coming from there.  Hmmm. It seems quieter now.  I get up anyway and peek into the hall; everything is dark and Charlie is snoring.  I close my door and walk over to my window.  Its closed though, so I shouldn't be hearing anything from outside.  We live on a quiet street, where music and parties are far and few between.  Can't really get away with it when a cop lives in the area - definitely a plus to living with Charlie.

I slide the window open anyway because I can definitely hear some music.  The cool night air rushes in but there is nothing except the sound of light wind and a few raindrops.  I decide to leave it cracked because the fresh air feels nice and slide back into bed.  The music seems to be gone.  Maybe a passing car, I guess.  Strange, but not worth thinking about anymore.  Shutting off the light, I roll over again and attempt to sleep.

 

I stare at myself while I brush my teeth.  Brown eyes, a little muddy maybe, but big enough.  I like my eyelashes at least.  Rose says she would kill for eyelashes like mine.  I think I'll spend the extra minute this morning and put mascara on.  I like the way my eyes look when I darken my lashes.  Sometimes I let Rose put makeup on me, but not very often.  Growing up without my mom around meant that I didn't really pick up on all that girly stuff.  And I didn't have an older sister to show me.  Only child of divorced parents; explains why I don't mind being alone I guess.  

I spit and rinse, and pick up my hairbrush to try and tame the mess on my head.  Maybe it will do something today.  Mostly I just tie it back because it is long, wavy and incredibly unruly.  Nope, it refuses to cooperate this morning.  Oh well, nothing new there.

**Nah, just a headache.  I'll be fine.**

What?  I stupidly look around - of course I'm alone in the bathroom.  Charlie's left already.  I stand silently for a minute but don't hear anything else.  Looking back in the mirror I pull my hair back and secure it with an elastic.  Great.  Am I hearing things now?  It's then that I realize that my headache didn't get worse in the middle of the night like it usually does.  In fact, it doesn't really hurt anymore.  I put my hand up to my temple and run my fingers along the skin there.  Still seems a bit warm and tingly though.  That is a new but not totally unwelcome development.  Not that I wanted to go to work, but the pain of my headaches really sucks.  The doctors tell me its just some kind of migraine, but I don't really get them often enough to take the daily pill to prevent them.  I have some nice painkillers in my cupboard though, for when the pain gets too bad.

I head back to my room and slip into slacks and a purple top.  Some flats, a bunch of rings, my necklace, and I'm ready to go.  I grab my phone and type in a quick text to Rose.

            Maybe I do need to get out.  Think I'm going crazy. - B

I see that she's typing back so I wait.

            On it!  And you're probably not actually going crazy, but I will use any excuse to get you out. - R 

Well I didn't actually mean it, but I'll let her drag me anyway.  You know, just in case.  I've probably been alone too long and shouldn't chance insanity.  They might not let me have books in the psych ward.

 

Sitting in front of my desk and staring at the pile of crap I'm supposed to mail today is making me angry.  Why do people need to send so much mail anyway? Can't all this stuff be emailed?  And there is a low buzzing coming from somewhere but I can't figure it out.  Again.  I'm on the verge of climbing onto the table to see if its coming from the lights when my phone vibrates across my desk.

            Will come and take you for a drink after work.  Don't worry, you are dressed for it.  And its nowhere that you call 'downtown fancy.' - R

I giggle because she knows me so well and has already addressed all of my usual arguments.

            Ok.  - B 

Ha!  That'll throw her for a minute.  I put my phone down and pick up my next envelope when the buzzing gets louder.  WHAT IS THAT?  Argh, I really am going crazy.  Since I work alone and there is no one to offend by doing so, I put my earbuds in and turn on my ipod.  Should be able to drown out the buzzing at least.  But when the music starts the buzzing hasn't stopped.  I wiggle the wire on the headphone.  Is there something wrong with it?  I put it back in my ear and turn the volume up.  Nope, no change. 

**What the fuck is that noise? It's annoying as hell!**

_Agreed._

Hold on, did I just ask myself a question in my head and answer it too?  But..... that wasn't me, was it?  It sounded like a man's voice.   

Great.  I guess my subconscious has given up on me and invented a man for me to talk to.  Dear God, I'm the most pathetic person in the world.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

# Chapter 4

 

 

Rose is waiting for me when I leave the building.  

"So glad you want to join the land of the living," she sniggers as she loops her arm through mine in our regular walking position.  

"Don't get used to it," I tell her.  "I had a weak moment and you capitalized on it."

"Oh you'll have fun.  We're just going to a little pub a few blocks over.  Nothing fancy.  Jasper is waiting for us there."

Jasper is Rose's slightly older brother.  And he is just as incredible as she is, if you're into that tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed thing.  Which I'm not.  Really, I'm not.  

Ok, I lied.  I am.  He's hot.

"I guess that sounds okay," I sigh.  Could have been worse.  Like a bar with Paul, Jared, and Jake.  We make short work of the trip and are walking through the oversized wooden door minutes later.   The buzzing in my head hasn't let up but I'm trying to ignore it.  Pretend its not there and it will go away.  Its my life motto and has worked for me so far, so I'm sticking to it.

The pub is okay; not too big, with sturdy wooden tables and a homey kind of feeling.  Jasper waves to us from a booth along the far wall.  Oh, just as pretty as the last time I saw him.  He is sipping a beer and there are two glasses on the table for me and Rose.

"Vodka and Seven with lime," he smiles.  Thank god.  He remembers.  

"Thanks."  I try to get the word out without stuttering and slide into my seat.

**Oh thank fuck.  This is better.**

I look over at Jasper but he's taking a drink of his beer.  "Sorry, did you say something?" I ask.

"No.  Just having my beer."  He looks at me like I might be a little slow.  Well who the hell said that?  I look around, as seems to be becoming my habit, to find out where the voice came from.

"You okay Bella?" Rose asks.  I'm looking at her trying to think of something to say that won't make me sound crazy when her eyes light up.  "Bella, don't look now but I think this day just got a whole lot more interesting."  

I pick up my drink and take a quick sip before letting my eyes dart to the side.  There are two guys near the door - a tall slim one, and one built like a linebacker.  Oh god! I smile over at Rose and whisper, "told you so."

"Oh my God!" she squeals under her breath.  I'm laughing a little inside because I have never known Rose to get so excited over something.  She is usually all cool and easy going.  "Edward and Emmett Cullen," she whispers.  I give her a slight jab with my elbow and she nearly drops her drink.

"Nothing to get too excited about," I tell her.  

"What do you mean?" she scowls at me.  Oops.  Apparently I'm raining on her parade.  Sure Edward Cullen is an incredible actor, and as hot as they come.  And his brother, equally so, but really.  Its not like anything is going to happen.  We'll stare at them a little while we have our drinks, and then we'll be on our way.  

"What are you two whispering about over there?" Jasper asks.  We are both watching the progress of the Cullen brothers as they make their way across the pub and slide into the next booth over.  Emmett is sitting with his back to Jasper, and Edward is facing me and Rose.  Jasper turns to see what we are staring at and looks back at us.

"Please tell me you two aren't going to go all stalker fan on me," he says, much too loud really, considering how close we are to them.

"No! And be quiet!" Rose hisses at him.  We both look back over at the Cullen's but it appears they didn't hear Jasper.  Thank god.  I take another sip of my drink while taking as long a look as possible at Edward Cullen.  He really is beautiful.  Unfair really that one person gets to look like that, while I have to look like this.  And as I am silently brooding over it, I realize that it is, in fact, silent.  The buzzing has stopped.  Best news of the day really, in my opinion.  I'm not going crazy.

**Please don't fucking stare at me.**

What?  My eyes meet Edward Cullen's in a second and I see an angry, but amazingly green, glare.  Did he just tell me not to stare at him?  I look at Rose, but she's chatting with Jasper.  Her fan-girl moment appears to have ended.  I drop my eyes back to my drink and take a deep swallow.  He didn't, did he?

For the next ten minutes I focus on nothing but ingesting my drink as quickly as possible and keeping my eyes off of the next table.  Rose keeps looking at me, slightly worried, but I give her a quick smile and she goes back to her conversation with her brother.  Something about a crazy aunt if I'm hearing correctly.  Although, at this point, I'm kind of doubting that sense.  

_I wasn't staring at you._

Its the only thing I can think.  I wasn't really, it was just a friendly glance.  Okay, a long glance, but still.  I chance another friendly glance at him, but look back down immediately.  He's looking at me.  Crap, bad timing to sneak a peak.  

"Bella!" Rose pushes my shoulder.  Apparently she's been trying to talk to me while I've been freaking out in my head.  And that lovely little shove she just gave me dislodged the glass from my hand and it slides directly off the table.  Yup, that seems fitting for my life.

The glass shatters on the floor and everyone looks over to see.  Of course they do.  

And suddenly Emmett Cullen is standing next to our table, laughing a little.  How rude!

"Everything okay over here?" he asks.  I am hanging my head in shame so Rose answers for me.

"We're fine thanks," she tells him.  And I can hear the smile in her voice.  That is Rose's flirting voice.

"Yeah, you are fine.  Glad I came to check."  Oh, gag me.  Did he seriously just say that?  I roll my eyes and look at Rose.  She's glowing.  One lame line from Emmett Cullen and she is gone.

**Fuck Emmett! Don't pick up the stalkers!**

My head whips around and I'm looking into the green eyes of Edward Cullen.  He narrows them a little.

"We're not stalkers," I say and grab Rose's hand.  I'm pulling her out of the booth and away from the table, and take one look back to see Edward Cullen staring wide-eyed at me.  

What the hell was that?

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

# Chapter 5.

 

 

"Bella! Stop! What the hell is wrong with you?" Rose pulls on my hand to slow me down.  But I can't.  I'm freaking out.  "Bella stop!"

I tow her around the corner and lean against the side of the building.

"People drop their glasses all the time Bella.  It's not worth freaking out about.  Of course, most people don't do that in front of the Cullen brothers."  She thinks I'm embarrassed about the cup incident, when I'm actually having a meltdown over the part she didn't see.

"He called us stalkers Rose," I say quietly.  She looks at me, a little surprised.

"No he didn't.  Emmett was...."

"Not Emmett," I cut her off.  "Edward."

Now she's really puzzled.  "Edward didn't talk to us."  She gives me the matching look to the one her brother gave me earlier - the one where he thought I was a little slow.

"He told his brother not to pick up the stalkers! How did you not hear that?  He was right there." I probably sound a little frantic now.  I know that he said it.  I heard it.  I heard his voice say those words.  Of course, I didn't see him say anything.  But I wasn't staring directly at his beautiful mouth the entire time, so I can't be 100% sure.

"No, I didn't hear him say anything.  And he wouldn't have anyhow.  Not in public anyway." Rose sounds so sure.  She pulls me into a quick hug and turns us to go.  "I guess that was a good attempt at getting out," she laughs.  The street light isn't in our favour, so we wait on the corner.  I'm not convinced, but her calmness has an effect on me.  

"Rose! Bella! Hang on a sec," Jasper calls from behind us.  He has just come out of the door to the pub and jogs over to us.  He looks at me sadly and passes a napkin to Rose.  "I really hate getting involved with my sister being picked up, but here," he says.

She looks at it strangely, then giggles and shows me.  Its Emmett's number.  Of course.  

"Would you like me to take that?" I ask her, and she looks at me, alarmed.  "Because you have Paul, you know."

"I'm done with that moron."

"Ok, well good to know you'll drop a person when someone better looking comes along," I joke.  She looks hurt.  Oops.  "I didn't mean it Rose.  I'm sorry.  I know you two weren't really in the best place."

"We talked last night.  We're both going to move on." Rose looks a little defeated for a second.  "It's better this way.  We really did need to end it," she tells me.

I grab her hand when the light changes and we step off the sidewalk.  "You really were too good for him anyway."

"True," she smiles.  

 

By the time I make it home, the awful buzzing sound has taken up residence in my head again.  It started so quietly that I wasn't sure, but the sound is driving me insane now.   And it had completely driven the other mess out of my head.  The one in which I am sure I heard Edward Cullen speak.  I clatter around the kitchen loudly, trying desperately to drown out the noise in any way possible.   This is worse than before, right?  I don't remember it sounding like a fly in my ear.

_Shut up, shut up, shut up._

I cover my ears for a second and squeeze my head between my palms.  Why won't this stop?

**Fuck, make it stop.**

I freeze.  It was his voice again.  I swear to God it was.  I'm not crazy.   

_I wish I could._

I wait, perfectly still and perfectly silent.  And I hear it, loud and clear.

**Can you fucking hear me?**

Man, he sure says fuck a lot.


	6. Chapter 6

# Chapter 6.

 

 

 

_I think so.  Can you hear me?_

I feel stupid.  I'm asking questions in my head and waiting for an answer.  Psychotic break maybe?  Is it my job or my lackluster life that's caused this?

**Yes.**  

Oh god.  My stomach flips and I think I'm about to pass out.  This isn't happening.  How can this be happening?  I run from the kitchen and am upstairs, shut in my bedroom in less than a minute.  At least I have enough rational thought left to make sure Charlie doesn't see me freak out.  I fall onto my bed and pull a pillow over my head.  That should block it out.  Who am I kidding?  The only thing that is going to block it out is heavy medication.  

I take a deep breath and listen.  Nothing, except the god awful buzz.  And now that I'm still I realize that my head is pounding.  Ok, don't panic Swan.  One thing at a time.  Painkillers for the headache.  I grab some from my night table and toss them back quickly with a glass of water from the bathroom.  

What's next?  I don't know what to do.  Stop talking to the voice in my head?  Will that make it go away?  Well, can't hurt; I'll give it a try.  Buzzing sound?  Yup, still there.  Ipod on, headphones in, volume up.  Didn't work before but worth another try.

I try to slow my breathing a little too and after a few minutes I'm feeling a bit better.  Do I really think that I heard a voice, Edward Cullen's voice to be exact, in my head?  Do I really think that I'm talking to him through some strange psychic connection?

I'm still asking myself all of these questions an hour later when Charlie pokes his head in my door.  I remove my headphones and give him a faint smile.  

"You okay Bells?" he asks.  I point to my head and grimace.  He'll understand the gesture.  "You taken something for it?"

"Yeah, just trying to relax and fall asleep," I tell him.  Its not a complete lie.  That's what I'm actually doing.  He just doesn't need to know that I'm trying to get rid of a constant buzz and a voice in my head.

"Sorry to bother you Bells.  I'll check on you before I head out in the morning.  Going fishing early."

"Ok Dad.  Have a good time," I offer weakly.  He shuts the door and I shut my eyes.  I am not crazy.

**Who are you?**   

Just ignore it Swan.  This is not happening.  No one is talking to you.

**What the fuck did you do to me?**

I roll over and stare at the wall beside my bed.  This isn't working.  How do you ignore the voice in your head when it won't leave you alone?  And when it's being so rude?  I wince and put my hands to my head; I just want the pain to stop.

**What's going on?  I'm going fucking crazy here.**

I wait silently for a few minutes but don't hear anything else, and am soon asleep.

 

When I wake up in the morning, I ask the question before I realize that I'm thinking about it. 

_Does your head hurt like this too?_

Shit!  I'm not supposed to be talking to myself.  I look at the clock; its 8 am.  At least I got a good sleep.  Charlie will be long gone by now.

**Yes.**

Double shit!  I take a deep breath and let it out.  My hands are shaking.  

**Who are you?**

Another deep breath.

_Bella.  Who are you?_

Deep breath.

And again.

**Edward.**

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

# Chapter 7.

 

**What the fuck did you do to me?**

_Nothing!_

Ass.  Why the hell is he blaming me for whatever this is?  I certainly didn't ask for this and I most definitely didn't do anything to cause it.

_I passed you on the street.  That's all I know._

**When?**

Ouch! Doesn't remember me.  I would have thought the sharp pain would have made me somewhat memorable.  Didn't he get that too?  

  
_Two days ago.  I got a sharp pain in my head when you looked at me._   

**Oh, that was you, was it?  And at the pub?**

_Yes._

**Well how the fuck do I make this stop?**

_If I knew that, I would have done it already!_

Like I want some asshole in my head.  This is not the way I pictured Edward Cullen, but I guess no one can ever be what you imagined.  Not that I had imagined Edward Cullen! I have better things to do with my hours of folding than make believe an entire life with a Hollywood superstar.  It definitely wasn't an ordinary girl meets incredible guy, who sweeps her off her feet, and they live happily ever after fantasy.  Nope, never happened.  

I've had enough of this little chat.  And my head is throbbing.  Now that I'm not 'talking' to him, the stupid buzzing is loud and clear.  I want to scream! It's like there are a hundred mosquitos trapped inside my head.

I crawl out of bed and regret it immediately.  The pain is just awful.  After a quick trip to the bathroom, I hit the kitchen to make some coffee.  Caffeine is probably a good idea.  I pop some more painkillers and lean on the counter, watching the coffee drip.  

  
**I'm sorry.  This is really fucked up and I've got a brutal headache.**   

_I know, me too._

**Have you told anyone?**

_No! Who would believe me?  I'm trying to avoid being committed._

**Yeah.**

I can't even begin to imagine how that conversation would go.  "Hey Rose, I can hear Edward Cullen in my head."  Yeah, that'd go over well.  Speaking of Rose, I grab my phone and send her a message.

            You awake or still dreaming about Emmett? - B

A minute later I get a reply.

            Dream was good but reality will be better. - R

Yup, that's my Rose.

            Let me know the wedding date, I'll be there. - B

            Well, he'll be in love with me by the end of the weekend, but I think I'll make him wait. - R

            Sounds like a plan.  I think I'll go back to bed. - B

            You okay? - R

            Head. - B

I crawl back up the stairs and into bed.  I'm on the verge of falling back asleep when I hear him again.

**So how does this work?  How much can you hear?**

_I really don't know.  Yesterday it was just random little things.  Today it seems to be only when you talk to me.  If talk is the right word use here._

**Fuck this isn't right.**

_I'm sorry.  I wish I knew what to do.  And no offence but I'm really not enjoying this.... whatever this is._

**Ha! None fucking taken.  Me either.**

My phone starts vibrating again and it looks like I'm not going to get that sleep after all.  I really could use it.

            We are going out tonight.  I texted Emmett and he invited me and my clumsy friend to come out with a group. - R

            No. - B

            Too bad.  As my best friend, you are required to be at my side in emergency situations.  This qualifies. - R

            No. - B

            I'll be over in a few hours to find you something to wear.  We're going downtown. - R

Well, that went well.  I close my eyes and hope for a moments peace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

"I'm here!" Rose calls from downstairs. I'm buried in my closet trying to find something to wear, and not having any success. The painkillers are only dampening my headache so much and I'm really, really not in the mood to be dragged out. She rounds the corner into my room.

"Charlie fishing?" she asks.

"Always," I smile. "He'll be sorry he missed you."

"Me too." It really is sweet to see Rose and Charlie together. She's almost a better daughter to him than I am. "Here, I brought this for you, so you can stop panicking." She throws a low cut purple top at me. "Put on your black skinny jeans and a black tank under that. Done and done."

"Don't know what I'd do without you Rose. But I still don't won't want to go," I yell over my shoulder, as I slip into my clothes. When I'm dressed I stand in front of Rose and she starts straightening my hair.

"I know that, but I need you for this one Swan," she pouts. "I could handle the guy if it was just the two of us, but I can't go into a group situation alone."

**Damn it! I don't want to go.**

Ugh. I really wish he wouldn't pop into my head whenever he felt like it. This could get seriously annoying.

_I'm about to go somewhere I seriously don't want to either, and I would really appreciate it if you kept your whining to yourself._

There, that told him. Hold on...

_Wait! Are you going out with Emmett?_

**Yes.**

_Guess I'll see you soon then._

**What? What do you mean?**

_Emmett invited Rose and her clumsy friend out. That'd be me._

"Bella! Hey! I'm talking to you here!" I look at Rose and she's glaring at me. "You were just staring into space."

"Sorry Rose, this headache is really messing with me. I'm listening," I tell her. That sounded believable. And its true I suppose; he really is a headache.

"Never mind, we're ready to go. I brought my car." Good, at least I won't be stuck on the bus. "You okay?"

"As I'll ever be."

Half an hour later we're walking into a bar downtown. I slink along behind Rose, trying not to be noticed. I hate going to places like these. There is a band playing and I know that the headache is only going to get worse. This is going to be a miserable night.

"Hey! Rose! Rose's shy friend! Over here!" I look up and Emmett is waving excitedly from a table along the wall. As we approach, I scan the faces looking for Edward. Not there. We stop and Emmett is on his feet, first enveloping Rose in a bear hug and then turning to me and scooping me up. He twirls me around and sets me down again.

"Hi Emmett," I say quietly, a little surprised and taken aback at his warm greeting. He grabs Rose by the hand and pulls her down next to him. She giggles a little, which makes me smile.

**Hi.**

My eyes dart side to side, looking for him. And then he is next to me and as I look up into his eyes, the ever-present buzz stops abruptly and my headache fades away.

Edward Cullen. He really is very pretty. He's looking down at me and running a hand through his glorious copper hair.

"My head just stopped hurting," he says, almost whispering to himself.

_Mine too._

He narrows his eyes a little and moves past me to sit down. I stand stupidly beside the table until Rose pulls me to sit next to her. A waitress arrives with a tray; several bottle of beer and a few glasses containing very girly looking drinks.

"I got one in a plastic cup, just for you," Emmett tells me, leaning around Rose. My cheeks flame red and I look down. Oh god, this night is going to be worse than I imagined. Hands reach into the middle of the table, and I figure that I had better get a few drinks into me before I burst into tears.

As I am closing my fingers around the single plastic cup, another hand brushes against mine and I freeze. There is an electric burning, tingling sensation pulsing up my arm and I snatch it back. I look up and Edward has done the same thing. What the hell was that?

"Are you okay?" Rose whispers to me.

"Yeah, fine. I just got shocked I think. Must have been this beautiful plastic cup Emmett so kindly got for me." I rub my hand and arm a little and look back at Edward. He is looking at me too, staring with narrowed eyes.

_What was that?_

Nothing.

_Hello? You going to ignore me from across the table?_

Silence. Amazing, headache-free silence.

"Is it gone?" I ask him suddenly. And he smiles at me for the first time ever. An absolutely beautiful, perfect smile.


	9. Chapter 9

I sit quietly, sipping my drink, listening to the conversation around me. I have been introduced to the group at the table. Alice Cullen, Edward and Emmett's sister is at the far end, chatting up a storm. She is really a talker and seems very friendly. Across from her is a guy named Alec, and there are two girls between him and Edward, Tanya and Kate I think.

Tanya hasn't stopped talking to Edward for more than a few minutes. But he sure doesn't seem to mind. She is incredibly beautiful and looks right at home next to a movie star.

I don't know what to make of the fact that I can't hear a voice in my head anymore. I know I've heard it for the last few days, and Edward's smile when it disappeared seems to indicate that it wasn't only me. Could it really be gone as quick as it happened? I will never mourn the loss of that headache though, or the damn buzzing. But, as rude as he was, it was a thrill, I guess, to be able to talk to Edward Cullen in my head. I laugh at myself a little. I sound so stupid.

I'm in the middle of my third drink, trying to look like I am paying attention to what people are saying, when Edward gets up and tells Emmett he's done for the night.

"You okay man? I know that headache was bothering you earlier," Emmett asks him.

"It's fucking gone bro! And so am I," Edward says as he pulls Tanya up from the table and they are out the door before I can even register what has happened.

My heart sinks a little and I look back down at the table. Well, I guess my fairy tale is over.

What a disappointing fairy tale.

"Are you okay?" Rose asks. She looks at me with a small, sad smile.

"Yeah, uh, just the headache won't go away," I lie. I can't tell her that I no longer hear Edward Cullen in my head. I can't tell her that as soon as he was free of me, he bolted.

Emmett has an arm slung around Rose's shoulders and she is smiling like I've never seen before. She looks so happy. Which makes me a little happier, because the last few years with Paul have been really annoying, to say the least.

"Do you mind if I head home now? You look pretty set here," I ask quietly.

"Sure Bella. You don't look very well anyway. I'm sorry I dragged you out."

Ouch. How many hits to the self-esteem can a girl take in one night?

"Yeah, need to go to bed I think. Text me later." I lean over and give her a hug and quietly get up from the table. "Uh, it was nice to meet you all," I say as I pull my jacket on. A round of goodbyes, and I'm out the door and waiting at the bus stop in no time.

I just want to sit and mope. I mean, its not like I was ever obsessed with Edward Cullen, but you'd think that if you suddenly started talking to him in your head, and he was talking to you, the guy would at least stick around for a while. But I'm me, and he is the most beautiful man I've ever seen, so there was never really any chance of that happening.

Sitting on the bus, with my head leaning against the window, I swear that I hear a faint buzzing sound. I look up at the light above me and wondering if the wiring is bad. Must be. I pop my ear buds in turn the volume up.

Soon I'm home and curled up in bed, lying quietly and staring at my ceiling.

**Yes. Fuck. Yes baby. That's fucking amazing.**

Um, what?


End file.
